The Update

Im here! I’m sorry I suck (not really), I’m so sorry for not writing more often. My goal is to post weekly, but I’m not great at goals if I’m being totally honest with you guys. I’m still trying to find my place in this whole blogging world and it’s time consuming. OH, and I’m lazy. Not to mention raising my six year old nephew and my now TEN month old daughter. Ten months?! DAUGHTER? It’s still weird to say. It’s so dumb. She’s not even a baby anymore. She’s a teenager and it’s still scary. I’m gonna give you a little life update about all of us to get you guys all caught up on my very typical stay at home mom life. I actually go through waves of seeing all of my old friends going out and having fun, and then getting to sleep in and do brunch with mimosas and I get sad because I’m here playing peek-a-boo and coming up with ways to get my nephew to finish his dinner and then getting woken up with a smack to the face at 6am by my freaking angel face baby. But then there are times where I see everyone going out and I’m like “ha! You’re gonna feel like crap in the morning and I’m not!” And I feel thankful and so so happy that this is my life. Having two sweet kids looking up to me for everything and getting a good nights sleep and an early start with my cute family is the BEST feeling ever. I’d choose this life over going out any day, honestly. I did always want to be a really hard working mom though, like the mom who makes a bunch of money and gets her kid from day care after work and then cooks a super healthy dinner and everything is peachy, and I look back and laugh because I’m complete opposite of that and also, what kind of dream is that? Day care? Okay, 18 year old Jess. Okay. I’m more of the type to wear sweat pants all day and clean non stop even though for some reason nothing looks clean at the end of the day. I do try to cook dinner every night though, but when I don’t cook and my whole family is eating McDonald’s, yes, even Ashtyn throws down on their French fries, I still feel great because they’re all eating and that’s what matters. Even if we all become obese. We’re doing it TOGETHER as a family, so suck on that mom shamers. Like I said, Ashtyn is ten months old now and it’s crazy. She does so many typical baby things that I go crazy over. She eats everything, you guys. I started a hashtag on Instagram called #ashtynthefoodie and it’s so fun. I just take pictures of her eating everything and post it and it’s so cute. She actually will be on the dip n’ dots website because of one of her posts! She’s already more successful than I am. Whatever. She’s starting to walk and it’s hilarious because of how small she is. She looks like she’s six months old and she pushes things around as she walks with them and I wonder if I birthed a midget every time she’s doing it. She hits everyone and everything. A lot. I tell her it’s not nice to hit every time but I also sometimes laugh so I do realize I’m probably confusing her but I’m confused too. If Kaydan takes one of her toys she will grab it from him and give him a solid smack in the face and if you can keep from laughing at that then you’re a robot because, just picture it. It’s funny as shit. She says a lot of words too and I’m just waiting for her first curse word to write in her baby book because I just know it’s going to happen. It’s all her dads fault if it does happen. I’m a lady so it wouldn’t be my fault. I’ll keep telling myself that. Ashtyn loves Moana and singing and dancing. Again, very typical baby stuff but she’s my baby so it’s better than all the basic babies doing baby stuff. She’s totally fearless too. She got that from her dad, I’m scared of everything. You guys know this. She wants to be upside down, thrown in the air, and scared, all the time. It’s so impressive but also I can see a heart attack In my future so I’m saving up for that hospital stay for me already. She’s my favorite person ever and I’m not being biased, she’s the cutest baby in the world. It’s a proven fact, all the old ladies tell me that she is and old people have seen a lot of babies, so. Ashtyn is obsessed with Kaydan, still, and he’s even more obsessed with her. He’s just learned how to pick her up and he wants to carry her everywhere. I tell him that he only needs to pick her up if she needs it or if she’s crying or something so I’m pretty sure he makes her cry so he can pick her up. He’ll grab a toy out of her hand so she’ll yell and he will act like she was crying and pick her up and come out of the room as if I have no idea what’s going on and it’s honeslty become entertainment for me because when he does this, and Ashtyn wants to be put down, she’ll smack him in the face and everyone wins. I laugh, Ashtyn gets put down, and Kaydan gets a little punishment for taking her toy away all in one. It’s great. He’s really smart too, he is super good at reading and math. We’re teaching him the whole common sense portion of life now and it’s not the easiest but it’s fun. He plays soccer and he’s actually pretty good at it which is cool. He averages 2-3 goals every game! He’s also just realizing he has man parts and that’s all Jimmy’s territory. I can’t help with that stuff because I’ll either laugh or try to make jokes to get out of it so I’ve been banned from those conversations and I’m okay with that. Jimmy is so good with him. Like, he’s Kaydans super hero and I love it. Mainly because Kaydan would rather play with Uncle Jimmy and says I don’t play right so I get to chill while they play- non stop. But still, I love it. Jimmys good at doing everything. He has his motorcycle still and I’m pretty sure she’s my competition so I’ve had to step up my game a bit. He’s also going to school to be a barber and that’s so hot to me. Sometimes I wish I was a guy so he could be my barber but being his wife is probably just as good. He does pull ups and push ups every day and has abs and I’m genuinely mad at him for that. Why are you gonna leave me in the dust with my muffin top while you eat tacos every day and still look good. YOU have the baby next time. Could you imagine taking turns having babies with your husband? Actually, never mind. They would not be able to handle it at all. I’d rather just do it myself.  We recently took a vacation to visit Jimmys family in TN and it was so fun. We spent Ashtyn’s first Easter there and it was amazing. We also went out to eat, sat in traffic, went to the zoo, sat in traffic, hung out in Alabama for a day and went fishing, saw the Nashville science center, sat in traffic. It’s like a way cleaner LA with kind of cleaner people but just as much traffic and rain. It’s a different life but it’s nice seeing family no matter what and Ashtyn is obsessed with her grandma who lives there. Now we’re just here, seeing if spring is gonna happen or if we’re diving right into summer because we’re so ready for pool days and watermelon snacks and Ashtyn’s first birthday party. Ashtyn’s. First. Birthday. Party. I thought she was just born. Don’t forget to find Ashtyn on Instagram so you can watch her eat all the foods and live your dream life through her. You can find her on IG: @ashtynhartley._


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